I know it's been a long time since I posted an update.
Last July marked five years since my wife and I decided to forgo vaginal sex altogether, instead opting to have anal sex. In that time, we've maintained our thee to five times a week schedule. She's not as amorous during PMS or during her period, but usually manages to get her ass off on my cock three times a week even then.
It seems incredible to us that more couples don't, at least, practice anal sex on a regular basis. In the time I've had this BLOG I've communicated with about a dozen couples who only practice anal sex, and a couple dozen more who incorporate it in their lovemaking each time. There do seem to be a lot of couples who have anal sex about 50% of the time though. Interestingly enough, this is the average in some places, such as Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.
I do think anal sex is at least gaining more popularity. Perhaps it's due to the prevalence of anal sex in porn. Perhaps it's due to more societal acceptance. Whatever the case, more and more couples are incorporating anal sex into their lovemaking.
Statistics show that at least 46% of women have tried anal sex, and nearly 33% report having it regularly. Yet, a Journal of Sexual Medicine survey found that, of those women having vaginal sex in their last encounter, 65% reached orgasm. Of those receiving oral sex it was 81%. But of those receiving anal sex, 94% reported reaching orgasm.
So, why aren't more couples practicing anal sex if it's the best way to achieve orgasm? I think it comes down to this quote by Toni Bentley:
"A man must have confidence in himself and his cock, to fuck a woman in the ass. If he does not have this control, his cock will direct the action; he will move too quickly, hurt the once-willing woman, and rarely, rightly, will he be given a second chance."
If done correctly, anal sex can be a more pleasurable experience than vaginal. However, done incorrectly (especially until the female is able to achieve orgasm though anal sex), and anal sex will be equated to an unpleasurable experience in her mind that will take much to overcome. I think the number of couples who regularly engage in anal sex would be at least double.
Taking your time, listening to her and to what her body is telling you, and lube are all keys to successful anal sex. You shouldn't expect to have full penetration the first time you try anal sex. The first time my wife and I had anal, we both orgasmed when my head "popped" past her spinchter. It took a week of daily sex sessions before she could accept me fully. I am fortunate in that she easily reached orgasm each time. In short time, anal sex was a regular part of our lovemaking.
Social conditioning is one of the hardest things to overcome when it comes to most women enjoying anal sex. Even more, I believe she needs to desire anal sex before attempting it. If she's open to watching porn, some of the couple oriented anal movies may go a long way to putting her at ease that anal sex is just another form of sexual expression. If not, subtle fondling of her ass during vaginal intercourse or oral sex will heighten her desire. Hopefully, her body language will let you know she wants more. I hope to post more about this in the near future.
Hopefully the trend toward anal sex with continue and more couple will learn to enjoy the ultimate orgasm through anal sex. Toni Bently put it this way:
“I am sitting on the threshold. Perhaps this is the final paradox of God’s
paradoxical machinations: my ass is my very own back door to heaven. The Pearly
Gates are closer than you think.”
Showing posts with label anal girlfriend. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anal girlfriend. Show all posts
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Anal Sex Q & A
I sometimes receive e-mail regarding anal sex. I try to answer each and every e-mail I receive. I thought I would post a few of the questions I've received, and my answers. Please, send me your anal sex related questions, and I'll try to answer them here.
Q. Anal sex isn't natural, is it?
A. What defines natural, pro-creation? By that standard only vaginal sex would be considered "natural." How many who make this statement in reference to anal sex, have oral sex? In my opinion, what is natural is that which can be done without harm. For example, smoking cigarettes might be considered not "natural." Anal sex meets this criteria for naturalness.
Q. The rectum wasn't designed for anal sex, was it?
A. I would like to address some of the more common myths surrounding anal sex. The anus opens and closes many thousands of times during a person's lifetime. This is it's function. My next statement is not meant to be crude, I'm just illustrating a point. Taking into account the average sized bowel movement is approximately the same size as the average sized penis, why wouldn't the rectum accommodate a penis? Some say, the rectum is only for waste removal; some sort of one-way valve. However, there is nothing about it's design that supports that theory. The Sphincter muscles can be controlled to allow the insertion of an object, just as they are controlled to allow the removal of one.
Q. I've read that the lining of the vagina is tough and stretches, while the lining of the rectum is fragile and tears easily, is this true?
A. The wall of the of the vagina is tough. It was designed to stretch to allow the passage of a baby. The rectum, on the other hand, only needs to stretch to accommodate something the size of a bowel movement, or a penis. As to the fragility of the rectal wall and whether it tears easily or not, all you have to do is eat a lot of peanuts to realize the lining can't be that fragile, as it feels like a razor blades when you have a bowel movement. Now, I'm not going to say the rectal lining isn't going to tear if you cram a baseball bat in there and work it vigorously. However, after 16 years of (often vigorous) anal sex with my wife, she has never experienced bleeding, tearing, or discomfort as a result of anal sex; and my penis is larger than average. Certainly, millions of people have anal sex every day without harm.
Q. Will anal sex cause the anus stretch and cause incontinence?
A. Once again, the anus was designed to open and close hundreds of thousands of times over a lifetime. I have never seen a documented case of penile/anal sex causing incontinence. Certainly, if you are going to shove that ol' baseball bat in there, you might expect to have some problems. Although I have seen post by doctors who say it may cause these problems, I have seen many more that say it will not. As well, I have never seen a post by a specialist, say a proctologist, who says penile/anal penetration will cause this type of damage. The simple fact of the matter is, the anus was designed to accommodate something the size of a penis.
Q. I heard anal sex causes rectal/colon cancer?
A. This is a possibility if the male is infected with the Human papilloma Virus (HPV). If so, you would also be at risk of receiving cervical cancer from having vaginal sex with that partner. Many doctors now recommend all girls 14 and over get immunized against HPV. HPV is a sexually transmitted disease, but not in the traditional sense, and may not show up in some STD screenings.
Q. Is it safe to cum in her ass?
A. Barring STDs, there is no danger in unloading in her ass. I've cum in my wife's ass thousands of times.
Q. Isn't anal sex is prohibited by God/the Bible/the Koran/Etc?
A. I'm not a theologian, go ask your pastor, rabbi, priest, etc. I'm only addressing the physical/psychological aspects of anal sex.
Q. If I want to have anal sex with my wife/girlfriend, does that mean I'm gay or bi-sexual?
A. Simply put, no. You are only gay or bi-sexual if you want to have sex with another man.
Q. What if I enjoy it when my wife/girlfriend stimulates me anally, am I gay or bi-sexual?
A. Although this isn't my thing, the same answer holds true: You are only gay or bi-sexual if you want to have sex with another man.
Q. Anal sex isn't natural, is it?
A. What defines natural, pro-creation? By that standard only vaginal sex would be considered "natural." How many who make this statement in reference to anal sex, have oral sex? In my opinion, what is natural is that which can be done without harm. For example, smoking cigarettes might be considered not "natural." Anal sex meets this criteria for naturalness.
Q. The rectum wasn't designed for anal sex, was it?
A. I would like to address some of the more common myths surrounding anal sex. The anus opens and closes many thousands of times during a person's lifetime. This is it's function. My next statement is not meant to be crude, I'm just illustrating a point. Taking into account the average sized bowel movement is approximately the same size as the average sized penis, why wouldn't the rectum accommodate a penis? Some say, the rectum is only for waste removal; some sort of one-way valve. However, there is nothing about it's design that supports that theory. The Sphincter muscles can be controlled to allow the insertion of an object, just as they are controlled to allow the removal of one.
Q. I've read that the lining of the vagina is tough and stretches, while the lining of the rectum is fragile and tears easily, is this true?
A. The wall of the of the vagina is tough. It was designed to stretch to allow the passage of a baby. The rectum, on the other hand, only needs to stretch to accommodate something the size of a bowel movement, or a penis. As to the fragility of the rectal wall and whether it tears easily or not, all you have to do is eat a lot of peanuts to realize the lining can't be that fragile, as it feels like a razor blades when you have a bowel movement. Now, I'm not going to say the rectal lining isn't going to tear if you cram a baseball bat in there and work it vigorously. However, after 16 years of (often vigorous) anal sex with my wife, she has never experienced bleeding, tearing, or discomfort as a result of anal sex; and my penis is larger than average. Certainly, millions of people have anal sex every day without harm.
Q. Will anal sex cause the anus stretch and cause incontinence?
A. Once again, the anus was designed to open and close hundreds of thousands of times over a lifetime. I have never seen a documented case of penile/anal sex causing incontinence. Certainly, if you are going to shove that ol' baseball bat in there, you might expect to have some problems. Although I have seen post by doctors who say it may cause these problems, I have seen many more that say it will not. As well, I have never seen a post by a specialist, say a proctologist, who says penile/anal penetration will cause this type of damage. The simple fact of the matter is, the anus was designed to accommodate something the size of a penis.
Q. I heard anal sex causes rectal/colon cancer?
A. This is a possibility if the male is infected with the Human papilloma Virus (HPV). If so, you would also be at risk of receiving cervical cancer from having vaginal sex with that partner. Many doctors now recommend all girls 14 and over get immunized against HPV. HPV is a sexually transmitted disease, but not in the traditional sense, and may not show up in some STD screenings.
Q. Is it safe to cum in her ass?
A. Barring STDs, there is no danger in unloading in her ass. I've cum in my wife's ass thousands of times.
Q. Isn't anal sex is prohibited by God/the Bible/the Koran/Etc?
A. I'm not a theologian, go ask your pastor, rabbi, priest, etc. I'm only addressing the physical/psychological aspects of anal sex.
Q. If I want to have anal sex with my wife/girlfriend, does that mean I'm gay or bi-sexual?
A. Simply put, no. You are only gay or bi-sexual if you want to have sex with another man.
Q. What if I enjoy it when my wife/girlfriend stimulates me anally, am I gay or bi-sexual?
A. Although this isn't my thing, the same answer holds true: You are only gay or bi-sexual if you want to have sex with another man.
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