Five Years and Counting

I know it's been a long time since I posted an update.

Last July marked five years since my wife and I decided to forgo vaginal sex altogether, instead opting to have anal sex.  In that time, we've maintained our thee to five times a week schedule.  She's not as amorous during PMS or during her period, but usually manages to get her ass off on my cock three times a week even then. 

It seems incredible to us that more couples don't, at least, practice anal sex on a regular basis.  In the time I've had this BLOG I've communicated with about a dozen couples who only practice anal sex, and a couple dozen more who incorporate it in their lovemaking each time.  There do seem to be a lot of couples who have anal sex about 50% of the time though.  Interestingly enough, this is the average in some places, such as Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

I do think anal sex is at least gaining more popularity.  Perhaps it's due to the prevalence of anal sex in porn.  Perhaps it's due to more societal acceptance.  Whatever the case, more and more couples are incorporating anal sex into their lovemaking. 

Statistics show that at least 46% of women have tried anal sex, and nearly 33% report having it regularly.  Yet, a Journal of Sexual Medicine survey found that, of those women having vaginal sex in their last encounter, 65% reached orgasm.  Of those receiving oral sex it was 81%.  But of those receiving anal sex, 94% reported reaching orgasm.

So, why aren't more couples practicing anal sex if it's the best way to achieve orgasm?  I think it comes down to this quote by Toni Bentley:

"A man must have confidence in himself and his cock, to fuck a woman in the ass. If he does not have this control, his cock will direct the action; he will move too quickly, hurt the once-willing woman, and rarely, rightly, will he be given a second chance."

If done correctly, anal sex can be a more pleasurable experience than vaginal.  However, done incorrectly (especially until the female is able to achieve orgasm though anal sex), and anal sex will be equated to an unpleasurable experience in her mind that will take much to overcome.  I think the number of couples who regularly engage in anal sex would be at least double. 

Taking your time, listening to her and to what her body is telling you, and lube are all keys to successful anal sex.  You shouldn't expect to have full penetration the first time you try anal sex.  The first time my wife and I had anal, we both orgasmed when my head "popped" past her spinchter.  It took a week of daily sex sessions before she could accept me fully.  I am fortunate in that she easily reached orgasm each time.  In short time, anal sex was a regular part of our lovemaking.

Social conditioning is one of the hardest things to overcome when it comes to most women enjoying anal sex.  Even more, I believe she needs to desire anal sex before attempting it.  If she's open to watching porn, some of the couple oriented anal movies may go a long way to putting her at ease that anal sex is just another form of sexual expression.  If not, subtle fondling of her ass during vaginal intercourse or oral sex will heighten her desire.  Hopefully, her body language will let you know she wants more.  I hope to post more about this in the near future.

Hopefully the trend toward anal sex with continue and more couple will learn to enjoy the ultimate orgasm through anal sex.  Toni  Bently put it this way:

“I am sitting on the threshold. Perhaps this is the final paradox of God’s paradoxical machinations: my ass is my very own back door to heaven. The Pearly Gates are closer than you think.”

The Case for Anal Sex

I am of the belief that the benefits of anal sex make it better than vaginal sex for pure pleasure and intimacy.

1. Anal sex provides better orgasms for both partners. There's little denying the tightness of the anus provides more stimulation for the penis, providing more intense orgasms for the male. Most females I've talked to that say they enjoy anal sex (in other words, they gave it a chance and didn't have a guy who just jammed it in there) say they have more intense orgasms during anal sex then vaginal. There are many women who even prefer anal sex to vaginal for this reason.
   
2. Anal sex is more intimate. Let's face it, there really needs trust and intimacy in a relationship for anal sex. My wife and I reached a new level of intimacy when we started having anal sex. It was something that we alone shared, and our "dirty little secret". Unlike vaginal sex which is also practiced for procreation, anal sex is only practiced for the pleasure of the participants. That, in and of itself, builds trust and intimacy. Both partners can concentrate fully on the pleasure (both received and given) during the act of anal sex.
   
3. Anal sex is a great form of natural birth control. Yes, I've read the study that states anal sex has an 8% failure rate as a form of birth control. The same study stated condoms had an 11% failure rate. The study took into account those who said their primary form of birth control was anal sex, but then had vaginal sex. Therefore, anal sex would have a much lower failure rate if properly practiced. As well, the study says pregnancy may result from "seepage". Common sense would dictate that you not allow that to happen. As well, semen that is deposited deep in the rectum should be beyond the rectal valves. Unless the woman is on top of the man when he withdraws his penis, the semen should stay in the anus. As well, women must remember to wipe front to back for sanitary reasons, as well as birth control.
   
4. Anal sex may provide health benefits for the female recipient. Several studies have suggested the positive health effects of semen on women, such as feeling happier and more content. These studies were, one would assume, based on those having vaginal intercourse. As the rectal lining is thinner then that of the vagina, it is better able to absorb those bodies the produce the positive effects, making anal sex the superior method for delivering these benefits.

As you can see, anal sex is superior to vaginal sex in many ways. My wife and I can attest to the fact our marriage has benefited from anal sex. We recognized these benefits early on, but it wasn't until a little over a year ago we quit having vaginal sex altogether. Although we would not want to impose our beliefs on others, we honestly feel anal sex should be the primary form of sex practiced for the reasons above.

We now have no desire whatsoever to have vaginal sex, unless for procreation. Surely there are others like us? Those who agree with this, even if you have yet to convince your partner? We'd certainly like to hear your comments or questions. I would love to see each of you in a fulfilling relationship that includes regular anal sex. Perhaps more of you may join the anal only club. Comment below or send me an email at luvmywifesass@yahoo.com. I'd love to hear from you.